Roman’s Immeasurable Luck

So I think it goes without saying that Roman has the worst luck you can pretty much ever see in a single person.

I, on the hand, have a pretty good track record with no major incidents.

However, that is all changing since Roman and I met and his poison is seeping and slowly killing my good fortune. I thought my luck would bring a nice balance to our life and relationship together, but I think my luck is fighting a losing battle.

This evening (Tuesday) a severe storm warning and a tornado warning was issued. We were both at work and had to go our respective safe places, no big deal. This happens a lot out here in this part of Indiana. Storms and tornadoes are not unheard of. Well, I arrive home before Roman only to see a nice sized limb lying on our roof. I walk around the house to survey the damage and it appears 4 of our cedar trees have split at the trunk or pulled out of the ground (roots exposed), with at least 1 or 2 hitting the deck of our house and roof.

We won’t be able to fully assess the damage until daylight tomorrow, but for now we’re holed up in the basement until the windstorm passes.

Fucking cedar trees.

View Photos

Great Snowball Project of 2007

Mistake number 1. We bought a house.
2. Previous owners took fridge. Had to buy new fridge.
3. Fridge area was a bit small, so we had to special order a fridge to fit the dimensions.
4. Fridge never delivered. Who knows where it’s at. Got angry, went to Home Depot and took a fridge off the floor. Too tall by 1/2 “.
5. Take cabinet out that is above refrigerator and resize it.
6. Pull refrigerator out to reinstall cabinet. Rip the vinyl floor. Roman becomes “quiet pissed” at this point.
7. Buy new flooring.
8. Move refrigerator away from wall to install floor. The refrigerator springs a leak at the water line, we dent the door when it hits the stove (Allison is pissed at this point and Roman shrugs it off… WTF?), and it SCRAPES OUR NEW FLOOR THAT WE JUST INSTALLED WHEN WE PUSH IT BACK.
9. Reinstall trim, put door back on to basement. Discover new floor is about 3mm higher than old floor.
10. Sand the solid wood door. By hand. With sandpaper and a block of wood.
11. Call friends in desperation to find a power sander.
12. Remember that dad left his dremel tool here. YES!!!! Perhaps a gross misuse of tool, but whatever. A lot quicker, and easier to cut down now.
13. Reinstall door.
14. Remove the Ryobi Door Man (it makes it really heavy to open… the door automatically closes after you let go of it).
15. Roman drops the Ryobi Door Man and puts our first gouge in the new floor.

You can view photos here: http://flickr.com/photos/alliology

Goals for 2013

(This is just a short one to get back on the horse, but some exciting info for former Hoonie-fans… I’ve created a backlog of several posts, and I’m planning to release them out into the wild twice a week – Mondays and Thursdays is the current plan)

It’s been awhile since I’ve lectured from on high as though I were more important than the rest of the world. Fortunately for us, today I’ve chosen a topic that will resurrect that sentiment.

My girlfriend is smarter than your girlfriend.

That’s right. Recently that pretty girl in my life who takes all my money has graduated with her Master’s degree in Library & Information Science (we’re still working on bringing “Oh yes, Master” into our love life, but I’m sure this will help things along). I’m still not entirely clear on what exactly this degree makes her capable of, and I’m not sure Alli could tell you either. Sort of like my job.

But the horizon appears to be pretty promising. I have a developing conspiracy theory that she will soon get a salaried position at a book place as THEIR Master. I have some residual jealousy over this development, but as long as there’s more money rolling in, I’m sure I can find some solace in that. I’ve always wanted a Sugah Momma. She’s being promoted faster than anyone can track – at the beginning of this year she was being paid nothing – and she’s been promoted twice from there. If this full-time gig comes through, that’ll be four positions in five months. That’s GOT to be some kind of record. I’m thinking that she’s expected to be the system’s director by Christmas, and Grand Chancellor of America’s Book Systems by about… 2010. We’re tentatively targeting Milky Way Galaxy Regional Vice President as a fallback plan for the 2013 timeframe, should her 2012 campaign for Supreme Dictator of the Library Universe fall through.

You gotta admit; that’s hot, yo.

“Thank God for racism!” ~Alli

“Thank God for racism!”
~Alli

“A good ass-rape can change

“A good ass-rape can change someone’s perspective.”
~Alli